struggling

Everyday my complaint is that of a bitter one
I try so hard not to groan aloud
I don't want other people to know
I feel ashamed
If only I knew where God could be found
If only I could go to his dwelling
I would tell him exactly how I feel,
every moment I've gone through
I would listen to his reply
and try to understand what he says to me

I go east, but he is not there
I go west, but I cannot find him
I don't see him in the north, he is hidden
I turn and face the south, I find nothing
But he knows where I'm going

I have stayed in God's paths
I tread the narrow road
I have followed his ways
I have treasured his word in my heart
I treasure it more than my daily bread
He will do for me all that is planned
He controls my destiny

No wonder,
No wonder I am so terrified in his presence
When I think of it
Terror grips me
God has made my heart faint
Darkness is all around me
Thick, impenetrable darkness covers my face
Yet I am not silenced

~based on Job 23